song of the day: 'joining you' by alanis morissette
i went over to visit my mom on saturday. she's doing really good and making progress every day. i hadn't seen her in two weeks so it meant a lot to see her this weekend. she's talking better, eating better, able to lift her left knee, and all these things are so exciting! we had a nice time talking all together (my dad, brother and sister) and even took mom outside in her wheelchair for a while to enjoy the nice evening. but for some reason, on the ride home, i felt sad. more sad than i've been in a few weeks. she's in great spirits and laughs and jokes, but there's a lot about her that isn't the same as it was before the stroke. her voice is different and she's just more direct. it's like she lost her filter and she'll say things she wouldn't normally say. she's more honest and says what's on her mind, unapologetically. which isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just different. and even though i knew that the stroke affected her personality, i think it started catching up to me, the reality of the change. i just have to get to know my mom as she is now. she's still mom, but different.