Monday, September 27, 2010

we need a really good memory

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song of the day: 'joining you' by alanis morissette
i went over to visit my mom on saturday. she's doing really good and making progress every day. i hadn't seen her in two weeks so it meant a lot to see her this weekend. she's talking better, eating better, able to lift her left knee, and all these things are so exciting! we had a nice time talking all together (my dad, brother and sister) and even took mom outside in her wheelchair for a while to enjoy the nice evening. but for some reason, on the ride home, i felt sad. more sad than i've been in a few weeks. she's in great spirits and laughs and jokes, but there's a lot about her that isn't the same as it was before the stroke. her voice is different and she's just more direct. it's like she lost her filter and she'll say things she wouldn't normally say. she's more honest and says what's on her mind, unapologetically. which isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just different. and even though i knew that the stroke affected her personality, i think it started catching up to me, the reality of the change. i just have to get to know my mom as she is now. she's still mom, but different.
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details:
top-thrifted
jeans-topshop
shoes-dexter, thrifted

5 comments:

Between Laundry Days said...

I'm glad things are going okay with your mom. I've been thinking about you and your family a lot.

Also, you look lovely. I love the simple look!

Ana - Toil and Trouble said...

You look gorgeous as always!

I'm glad your mom is improving. I can only begin to imagine the difficulties you are growing through, but you're in my thoughts.

casual ambiguity said...

I've never before now thought about what it would be like for someone close to undergo a change in their personality, even if it's odd little things. I hope you feel less sad after each time you visit her as you and your mum and family adjust to all these changes. I can't even imagine. And I'm not very good at getting my words right for these types of messages :/

(I really love your necklace.)

Venn said...

simple n casualy!! likee likee!! i likeeeeee the shoes!

xoxo

Kimberellie said...

You look absolutely lovely here. This outfit is just perfection.

And that must be very hard with your mom. I don't know if it will help, but I remember when I was pregnant I "totally lost my filter" too. People would ask me to cover their shifts (etc) and instead of lying about having plans I would just automatically say: "No. I don't want to." (but after having my son I went back to my lying self). But I was still always me.

I'm sure your mother is still herself too... Maybe this helps? Well hugs and prayers, and wow you look find in this outfit.

heart: moi